The Origin of the Evil Sticker

Many of our readers have been asking how it came to be that we have evil stickers in our world. According to common tradition, the sticker was originally invented by Sticcus, who found some tree sap, spread it on the tree's bark, wrote "kick me" on it, and stuck it to his friend, Loserus' back. One can imagine the humor which this act created, and it is no wonder that this idea 'stuck'.

Although I have not been able to verify this story, it is apparent that the sticker has been around for thousands of years. It is not surprising, therefore, that the Parent Corporation would choose such an innocent object to carry the Corporation's evil.

In more recent years technology has grown more sophisticated, and the government created 'duck tape'. At first glance this tape is much like a sticker, but as is demonstrated in this article, they soon discovered it could be used as a sedative. Soon the Parent Corporation developed a super-concentrated version of this sedative and learned how to place it on a regular sticker. In fact, they have gotten it so concentrated that it can be lethal if one were to come into direct contact with it.

Why haven't we heard about sticker-related deaths? There have been deaths, such as this one. The Parent Corporation has been very careful. They have operatives working in virtually every sticker company in the world. They have also worked very hard to expand the production and use of stickers. That is why we have so many stickers on the books, CDs, DVDs, etc. at stores today. They have done this so that they can only target those whom they really want destroyed. Law enforcement has been unable to identify stickers as the cause of these deaths because the sedative used in the stickers is not in their list of dangerous known toxins.

Now, what can the public do? We need people to protest stickers being placed on their merchandise. If we destroy the Parent Corporation's secret method of assassination, we come much closer to our goal of exposing and destroying the Parent Corporation. Also, please consider the following list:
* If at all possible, use rubber gloves when dealing with stickers.
* Always take careful consideration to find out where stickers came from
* Never lick or smell a sticker found on something you purchased. Also, be very careful as you remove it and be sure to dispose of it in a way that it will not hurt anyone or anything else.
* If you hear a strange noise from stickers, contact help immediately.
* Be extremely careful with stickers which need to be licked. Make sure they don't smell funny before you lick them.
* Only touch the non-sticky side of stickers. The toxin is found on the sticky part.