A Day in the Life

Many of you have asked about what a typical day in the life of a member of the Board of Dictators is like. In this post I will try to satisfy your curiosity to the best of my abilities.

By definition my day generally begins just after 12:00 midnight. I almost always utilize the first several hours in resting and ruminating about the important issues facing the world. Sometimes I even engage in rapid eye movement meditation. On a typical morning I am awakened at approximately 4:30 to respond to emergency situations. More often than not the solutions to these situations are readily apparent and take no more than twenty minutes or so, after which I attempt to meditate some more. On most days there is only one situation at this time of the morning that requires my attention, but occasionally as many as three or four separate crises will unfold during the early morning hours. Regardless of how many of these situations are encountered, by about 6:00 I am generally engaged in diplomatic negotiations, gathering news reports, and piecing together my strategy for the day.

By about 8:00 I am off to the office where I can better focus and implement our designs in the presence of the other members of the Board of Dictators. We hold quick meetings to coordinate our strategies, and then we put our efforts into whatever deeds need to be done that day. I am often involved in diplomatic councils and propaganda campaigns, but on any given day I don't shrink from doing whatever is required of me. I generally work at the office straight through lunch and until about 5:00 pm, at which point I generally return to my home before beginning the second workday. During this second workday I am generally responsible for cleaning up sticky situations and placating irritated parties to treaties and what-not.

By the time these situations are resolved I generally have a few hours with which to pursue my scientific research. That is, of course, when I am not volunteering in my community by teaching civics and science courses to young people. I can't say much about my current scientific work, and actually my lawyers have told me not to disclose prior discoveries in this forum, but they did tell me I could use the phrase "space-age technology" to describe them (After all, anything built in the space-age can be called by that name). After spending time with my research I generally spend some time in rest and meditation and then end my day at 12:00 midnight, again by definition.

I hope this has been instructive for you and will give all of you aspiring members of the Board of Dictators a better idea of what you're signing up for. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not committed to open government and anything that contributes to greater transparency!