Completely unacceptable behavior

The Parent Corporation is at it again. This time they have been loosening the bolts on the signs at fast food restaurants hoping that one would fall on someone. They seem to have succeeded this time. We are very sorry that our operatives did not catch this particular sign in time. We're not quite sure yet just what the Unholy Brotherhood of the Hole Punch has against fast food establishments. Perhaps they are a representation of quintessential American behavior (we all know the Parent Corporation are un-American in addition to being evil) or perhaps they resent that their doctors told them not to eat so much fast food. Either way, we urge caution while patronizing restaurants on windy days.