Spies in our midst

Our increased security is starting to pay off. Last night we uncovered a small brad-guy cell that had been operating very close to me and my family for many weeks now. We believe that they have been responsible for most of the intelligence for their failed assassination attempts. The Company will surely miss having this information.

As it turns out, my sister-in-law had made an acquaintance early this year with a young man who called himself "Brad." We all know that that isn't his real name, but my sister-in-law at the time refused to pay attention to the warning signs. This "Brad" has been texting my sister-in-law for months now, and while my sister-in-law knows very little about the inner workings of the Board of Dictators, she surely gave "Brad" enough bread crumbs to piece together a desperate strategy.

The story takes an interesting turn in early September, when my sister-in-law came to live at my house for a time. She continued texting this "Brad" and continued giving him more bread crumbs. Unfortunately, as she was living with us, the crumbs were now significantly more valuable. We have traced the text messages and found that my sister-in-law did in fact let "Brad" know that we were eating at a restaurant in San Antonio. Anyway, to keep it short, it appears that "Brad" was the source of all of the intelligence they have used over the past months to attack us.

Last night, this "Brad" was bold enough to accept an invitation to come to my house to watch movies with my sister-in-law. This was his undoing. I immediately recognized him for what he was, and was able to detain him. For the curious among our readers, his real name is Harold Walker, and he has been with the Company for 10 years now. I grilled him about his cell and he offered very little resistance. Thanks to his testimony we have apprehended all of the members of his cell and are currently expanding our search. We urge all of our supporters to look at not only their acquaintances, but their friends' acquaintances and try to identify the Brad Guys out there. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we're nothing if not vigilant.