Although we have struggled to keep your gasoline prices low, we can't do so forever. Eventually the demand for oil will increase to the point that the oil companies will be able to charge a fortune for it, and we'll be forced to look at alternative transportation strategies. What we need is a campaign to make riding the bus "cool" again.
What we need from you, our supporters, is a concerted effort to change this image. Please contact us with your experiences. Here are some suggestions on how to increase the coolness of riding the bus:
If you are in high school:
- If you are are popular, just ride the bus and encourage others to do so. Popularity may not equal coolness, but in the eyes of your peers there is little difference
- If you are unpopular, refrain from riding the bus. This may seem like the wrong approach to encouraging bus use, but if we can have fewer undesirables on the bus it might be cooler.
If you are a senior citizen:
- If you can refrain from making angry comments about the younger generation, please ride the bus.
- If you cannot refrain from making the comments, please stay off the buses. It would not do to have cool young people feel threatened by the older folks.
If you do not fit either category:
- If you are considered "normal" (at least by those who don't know you well), please ride the bus
- If you are considered "nerdy" or "geeky" or "stinky", please refrain from riding the bus.
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8 comments:
If you are prone to carrying stuffed animals, dressing as the opposite sex, and/or talking to yourself, you should have to take the "special" bus. This bus will be equipped with staff and training videos on how to properly behave on public transit.
Now that's a good idea, Sandra. With all the applications for membership in the Board of Dictators that we are reviewing I don't think we have come across yours yet, but rest assured that this suggestion will win you extra points (assuming, of course, that you are willing to run the "special" bus division).
Clearly, the "special" bus division should be run by former "special" bus patrons. That's the only way that one can truly instill the importance to look (and act) cool on public transit. Much like AA being run by former alcoholics. However, I'd be happy to supervise the divison until a former "special" bus rider becomes reformed enough to take over my duties. I have plenty of examples from years riding public transportation that will be great for teaching this "special" population.
We never meant to imply that your tenure as head of the "special" bus division would last longer than absolutely necessary. We agree wholeheartedly with you that a former "special" bus patron would be a much better choice, but in the interest of getting it started we thought that perhaps you would be interested in a temporary position in the division. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not sorry for such misunderstandings.
I can personally vouch for Sandra's special qualifications to be the interim director of the "special bus" program.
Gosh, I hope that didn't come out wrong.
A temporary position would be perfect, though Director of Special Bus Operations does have a nice ring to it. And assumed responsiblity. And the opportunity to study these subjects at an even closer range--though how much closer than practically on your lap is yet to be determined. Yes, upon reviewing my experiences with the Uncool on Public Transit, I see that a program of this nature is needed to make bus riding cool again. Kudos for taking that step that our "elected" officials refuse to do--ridding the public transportation lines of the unwanteds.
P.S. I'm working on the official application, but there's a lot of researching and calling I have to do to get the information. And I'm trying to pad my resume with dictatorship-related activities that may or may not be relevant or entirely true, and of course that takes time.
I'm willing to put aside my concerns regarding the fact that you don't have this information memorized. All of it, especially your sleep number. I think you're a front runner candidate right now so I'm looking forward to reviewing your full application.
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