Finally!

We at the G.P.D. have been working tirelessly for years to be able to publicly announce our findings regarding scotch tape. Ironically, this work was one of the major contributions of our former partner "Viktor" who was recently recruited by the Company.

In the 50s, "Viktor" was heavily involved in what we then called "extreme science." In other words, he looked into projects that others considered unlikely or impossible. His scotch tape work in conjunction with some Russian scientists was considered a joke by many, but we have never given up on turning his findings into something to benefit The Public.

Finally, one of our research labs has had success in duplicating the findings that "Viktor" effortlessly discovered half a century ago. Be sure to read the full report over at New York Times. This is merely one of the ways that the creativity of your friendly neighborhood dictatorship is working toward a New Future. We are nothing if not dedicated to making each day more innovative and successful than the previous. We at the GNU Public Dictatorship will never rest until we have brought a peaceful end to the problems plaguing the public today.