Horrifying

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not shocked and appalled by the lengths to which our enemies will go to destroy society.  Take, for example, this incident, which even the mainstream media labels as troublesome.  The fact that someone decided to add sewing needles to airline food is disturbing at the very least, and more likely horrifying!  The GPD has always opposed illicit perforation and twisting, and, while sewing needles are generally very useful tools, we are now considering whether sewing needles have enough potential for evil that we should ask our supporters to refrain from using them.  If you have a strong opinion about sewing needles, please contact your local GPD office before tomorrow's meeting of the Board of Dictators.

As for responsibility for this incident, our operatives obtained a New Company memo in which "Gertrude" refers to this incident and asks for restraint in "uncontrolled operations," but we are still not sure whether the New Company was involved or not in this incident.  Clearly the intent of these needles was to perforate people's mouths, which is consistent with the New Company's goals, but we wonder whether they would create an incident such as this one, which will likely cause people to fear needles rather than to embrace them.