An update on "Edgar"

When we placed "Edgar" in the reality simulator we also created many safeguards to ensure that he wouldn't try to end his life again.  These safeguards included increased supervision and a reduction (but not total elimination) of the brads and hole punches left in and around his (virtual) office and home.  After several days of observation, however, we realized that he wasn't even using them, and that he didn't even look fondly at them.  At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not skeptical of "Edgar" giving up on evil office products, especially since he could not do so during the Quisling Incident a few years ago, but we have to admit that he hasn't touched them since his apparent suicide attempt.  In light of this new info we're re-opening our investigation of how he came to ingest hole punch leavings, but we think it is probably more likely that he just got scared after he nearly killed himself, and that he will return to his old ways soon.