What "Edgar" was doing in our offices

While we still can't reveal everything we learned from our investigations of the abduction and replacement of our Count Quisling, the Board of Dictators has met often and we have decided to let portions of our finding be made public. We would like to make it all public, but ongoing intelligence operations might be compromised by revealing all of it at this point. As soon as we can we will release the remainder of our findings.

It seems that "Edgar" had at least three motives for his infiltration. One of these we can't talk about publicly yet, so that's all we'll say about mysterious motivation number one. The second motive was to gather intelligence about the GNU Public Dictatorship and its regional operations. We have studied all of the records that the fake Quisling would have had access to during his brief stay, and we have concluded that the only non-public information he encountered was a proposal for extending the GNU Public Theme Park to other locations around the world by setting up mirrors using rsync. The proposal was being circulated among our Counts for preliminary comments, and has subsequently been referred to one of our standards groups (and, of course, made public). For the curious, the proposal is on track to being implemented, but there is disagreement over whether the mirrors should use the traditional rsync or the more innovative RideTorrent. Only time will tell. He also had access to the disciplinary records for Lincoln County, Nevada, but we asked our computer to correlate that information with all of our other records to determine whether anything useful could have been gleaned from that. We found that there was a small exhaust port in our space station against which they could send a squadron of small fighters and, assuming their aim was superb, could destroy our space station, but we have remedied the situation by adding a few extra deflectors to the exhaust port. But I digress. Back to the third reason.

The third and perhaps most interesting reason "Edgar" infiltrated our office was that he apparently wanted to try giving up brads and hole punches for a while to convince himself that he is not dependent on their evil influence. We found this out by reconstructing several of the shredded documents he left in the office when he fled, and after reviewing surveillance and interviewing coworkers we found that he apparently did live without brads for the amazing period of 24 hours. He kept up the appearance of not using brads for much longer, but some of the office workers noticed strange behavior in the brad disposal room as early as a week after the abduction of Quisling. It was these repeated strange incidents that caused Daniel's investigation that precipitated the rest of the events that are so well known.

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not encouraged by the fact that "Edgar" couldn't give up his brad and hole punch habit for more than a day. He is apparently more of a slave to his addictions that we had previously believed.