The Death of Jacob Gehris

Many supporters responded to our recent post about the discovery of Jacob Gehris's hand by asking us what the rumors surrounding his apparent suicide were. We are surprised that so many of our supporters have not researched this topic, but at the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not convinced that information is power, so we'll share with you what we know (and what rumors say) about his untimely demise.

First, the facts. Jacob was last seen alive on April 14, 1875 in Conflate, Arizona by his nephew Jonathan Hansen (who, incidentally, was rumored to have ties with the Company, but more about that later). His nephew said that Jacob was acting moody and discussed his failure to make any money off his invention at length. Besides Jonathan the last time he is documented to have been seen alive was during a particularly involved April Fool's Day joke involving several horses and a ladder. Not much more is officially known about his whereabouts before his body was discovered on April 15 by Percival Grant, the milkman. The police investigated the death, labeled it a suicide, and quickly rushed his body away for disposal. It is at this point that the details become a bit fuzzier. It has been rumored that the Company had Jacob's body embalmed, dismembered, and scattered, presumably so that nobody could investigate his death further. Documents we recovered from the collapse of the Company suggested that his body parts may have been moved a few times over the years, but since the Company is no longer in business it is little surprise that his hand has turned up after all these years. There were other more bizarre rumors such as the one involving a UFO coverup, but you can read about them online, so we won't take up space here. Just search for "Jacob Gehris Hoax". The most interesting unresolved question from the police investigation in 1875 is whether his nephew was involved in the death. The police at the time labeled him as trustworthy and dismissed him as a suspect, but documents that have more recently come to light paint a different picture of him. We can't confirm any of the rumors that he was a Brad Guy, but we certainly think it was likely. We'll keep you informed of new developments in the case of the no-longer-missing hand.