Beware the trees!

Over the years people have come up with many things to embody the fear we all feel at times. Some of these creations include vampires, Frankenstein's monster, werewolves, zombies, and hostile aliens. Many of these ideas have been rehashed so many times that as a society we get bored of them. Vampires aren't interesting enough anymore--now we need vampires that sparkle in the sun or that are zombies of some sort as well. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are pleased to announce that we have found a previously-unknown embodiment of fear: the acorn. We know that trees have been used as fearsome creatures before, for example in The Wizard of Oz and The Lord of the Rings. Now, however, it is not the trees we can fear, but the small objects that live in the trees and drop on us unexpectedly. We're working with the major studios in Hollywood to get an acorn horror movie produced, and if all goes well we should see one by next fall. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not committed to originality!