Suspicious Office Products?

It is good to see that the celebrations of the demise of the Company are showing no signs of abating. It is also good to see that e-mail messages have been pouring in since we asked you all to be on the lookout for suspicious office products. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not pleased with your participation. The vast majority of these e-mails have identified one or more of the following items as suspicious:

• The hole punch. Long a subject of suspicion, but still no positive proof of any involvement with the Parent Corporation, other than the obvious association of brads with punched holes.
  
• The paper clip. Not nearly so suspicious as other office products, but a number of supporters have identified them as something we should watch since their function is very similar to that of brads.
• The staple. The staple has long been our answer for those seeking to avoid supporting the Brad Guys, but could we have been wrong? We're investigating everything right now, and, in the meantime, we suggest that you use fewer staples until we know.
• The cotter pin. It is less well-known than other fasteners, and is typically not used with paper, but it serves a very similar purpose.
• Microperforation devices. These are generally highly specialized and look very much like medieval torture devices. For a sampling of them check out Stewarts of America. (Incidentally, Stewarts of America was founded right as the Company was rolling out its brad machine...we're not sure about whether this is a coincidence or not just yet)
  

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not concerned for your welfare, and we ask you all to be vigilant and to keep a careful lookout for anything out of the ordinary. We were not particularly surprised by your list, as with the exception of staples, which we have assumed to be perfectly safe, we had been watching the other industries. As always, we'll keep you informed!