Bad News: More Bank Failures

We recently announced the failure of the Nabisco Triscuit Bank, and it is with great sadness that we must announce the failure of another bank due to insufficient liquidity. The bank in question (Saga Garden Bank) was located in Saga prefecture in Japan, and had a single customer with 360 million yen (US $4 million) invested, but failed due to market pressures when an unknown culprit absconded with the money. Their customer died two months later, and since there were no other customers the US government has neglected to let them share in the bailout plan.

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we want nothing less than for our supporters to be financially responsible. It is much easier to take care of a society where individuals take care of themselves. We would like to warn our supporters looking for investments of a few warning signs:

• Limited deposits/withdrawals allowed. While this may not be a sign of a bad investment, it should at least get you to question it. The Saga Garden Bank, while it was immune from house fires and earthquakes, only allowed for deposits and withdrawals if you brought your own spade.
• Very low interest rates. Although rates have dropped recently, any time your bank offers you zero or negative interest you should probably avoid the investment.
• Reputation. If the bank has no other customers you may want to avoid them.
• Security measures and insurance. If the investment offers no physical or electronic security for the money, it is probably a bad idea. If the investment has no insurance, it is probably a bad idea.
• Account access protocol. If the bank has no protocol to ensure that only the account owner can access his money, it is probably a bad idea.

As you learn and carefully follow these guidelines we are confident that you will be able to avoid the less stable banks such as the Saga Garden Bank of Japan.