A new development

A recent incident in Murray, UT has garnered significant attention. As usual, the news reports focus on the humorous side of the unusual occurrence without taking the time to dig into what it all means. We would like to let you know that due to a tip from "Walter" we have found that this dog belonged to the Company's No. 1, "John." Further investigation has shown that he was abandoned not long before the incident at Smith's. Our best information points to the fact that "John" could no longer afford to feed his dog and so he had him flown to Salt Lake City International Airport and abandoned him there. We figure he picked Utah because it has a reputation for being kind to animals. We hesitate to jump to conclusions, but all signs point to the fact that the Company is declining precipitously and may be on its last legs. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not hopeful, so here's hoping that the Company's end may come sooner than any of us thought!