A Despicable Attack

Many of you probably know Daniel Hoevels, the actor. We have recently confirmed that the attempt on his life, which, thankfully, did not end in his death, was perpetrated by a radical splinter group loosely affiliated with the Company. They were under the impression that Daniel had been feeding us information, but they were sadly mistaken. Some of our operatives had indeed attended several plays in which he appeared, but the actor himself had no connection to the Board of Dictators. While we appreciate the bravery with which Mr. Hoevels has faced this challenge, we have been unable to persuade him to support the GNU Public Dictatorship, and therefore we cannot award him the official Hero of the People award generally awarded to supporters who have faced great danger. The statute of limitations for the Hero of the People award is a mere 37 days, so if any of you are friends with Mr. Hoevel and can persuade him to declare his support for us within the next 34 days, please do so.