I can't wait

Recent controversy over the "natural born citizen" status of President-Elect Barack Obama has got me thinking about how nice the world will be when we are no longer future dictators, but dictators. The whole question of citizenship will be completely different under our rule. Instead of basing our estimation of a person's worth on the particular events that preceded that person's birth into this world, we will use the actions of that person to define his or her worth. We won't have to worry about whether someone was born in Weehawken or Novosibirsk, just that they were born.

Don't get us wrong; we won't take this to the extreme it is often taken in science fiction, where babies are separated from parents and raised in a nursery where all sense of individuality is stifled and a sense of patriotic love for the GNU Public Dictatorship is fostered. We don't intend to make everyone equal, just to remove the barriers to that equality. All world citizens (except, perhaps, for those lucky few "preferred citizens") will receive the same treatment from us, and we will make it our mission to serve your needs with enlightened self-interest. After all, it will be in our best interest to keep you happy. Besides, we'll save a bundle by not having to print passports!