Pranks

A couple of recent phone-in vandalism incidents in Arkansas and New Mexico have convinced us that it is time to speak out against pranks that go too far. Don't get us wrong, we appreciate good pranks as much as the next board of dictators, but we feel the need to speak out against destructive pranks such as these. We ask our supporters to refrain from such activity that is clearly unbecoming of a world citizen.

On a side note, we thought it might be helpful to present some tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of phone-in vandalism. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not helpful, so here we go:

• People on the telephone are not required to state who they really are. They might say that they have the authority to ask you to do something, but you are not required to take their word for it.
  
• If you are asked to activate or test a fire alarm or sprinkler system by someone unknown to you, respond by asking him or her to do it. If he or she is unwilling to do it, chances are it was a prank. If you get fired for insubordination, file form DDE-4409A (Request for Reparations) at your local GPD county office.
• Don't do anything for someone on the phone that you would hesitate to do were that person in the room with you.
  
• Recognize that chances are very slim that a desk clerk or some other customer-facing employee would actually be called upon by the corporate big-wigs to perform maintenance or testing on the fire suppression system. I doubt that was in the job description.
• Use good judgment.

As always, we hope this has been helpful.