A Followup

Daniel's post about baby piracy has prompted a flurry of responses, ranging from indifference ("Why should it matter if they're making illicit copies of babies?") to panic ("We're all doomed!").
We thought it would be wise to clarify a few of the points most people have been asking about so that our supporters can return to a mostly-normal-but-slightly-more-vigilant lifestyle. We'll start with questions asked by the indifferent and move on to questions asked by the panicky.

Q. If the original baby isn't harmed or stolen, why is baby piracy wrong?
A. Even though the creators of the baby still have the baby and no harm has befallen it, they are missing out on all of the royalties and other benefits of having created a work of art. Just because it doesn't take their original away doesn't mean it doesn't hurt them financially. Think of all the lost royalties! This is their livelihood we're talking about.

Q. What about people who either don't have the talent to make a good baby or don't want to invest the creative energy? Why shouldn't they be able to get a baby of their own?
A. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not compassionate, and we feel bad for such individuals. At the same time, however, we believe a respectable baby trade that can be regulated by the appropriate people would serve their needs much better, and would allow the creators of the babies control over the distribution of their baby.

Q. I'm a poor college (or high school) student, and I can't afford to make a baby. Why shouldn't I be able to borrow someone else's?
A. This is a tough one. While we sympathize with those who don't have the money to make their own baby legitimately, we firmly believe that the copyright holders should be able to decide the fate of their baby's DNA. We are researching the feasibility of creating an agency designed to help poor people get designer babies, so bear with us until we get that going.

Q. Is this a sign of the apocalypse?
A. Quite possibly, but their is no reason to panic. Babies have been traded on the black market for thousands of years. All that has changed is the technology that makes it easier, cheaper, and less invasive. If left unchecked, this technology will destroy the world by 2080, but most of us living now will be old and decrepit by then and we won't care.

Q. Should I start stockpiling staples in preparation for the destruction of society?
A. While we have always advocated the responsible storage of "clean" office products such as staples, we do not believe that you should go clean out your local office products stores. To do so would only further exacerbate the situation with little noticeable benefit to you or others.

We hope this exercise has helped you better understand the problems of infant piracy and the actions you should take. We urge all responsible citizens to expose any of their neighbors found pirating babies at their earliest convenience.

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