The Picnic

For as long as I can remember I have been taking one of my posts in the northern hemisphere's early summer to talk about the Company's plans for summer picnics around the world. Well, this year I can safely say that there will be no Company picnics near your neighborhood. The demise of the Company early this year has left a bit of a void for summer brad events, for which we feel both elation and a touch of sadness. It was fun to try to crash their parties (with appropriate protective gear, of course) and destroy their stashes of brads without injuring any innocent bystanders. The easy part, of course, is that only small children can really be called "innocent" bystanders, so we didn't have to work so hard on that. Anyway, as I was saying, this year there will be no Company picnics, and our operatives have not been able to glean any reliable information relating to Parent Corporation picnics this summer. The best information we have suggests that the Parent Corporation prefers reward getaways to picnics as then only the high-performing employees are rewarded, but we are not prepared to state unequivocally that there will be no picnics. It is also possible, however, that the Parent Corporation prefers to have its picnics in the southern hemisphere's summer, so we'll be keeping an eye on that for you. As a consequence of this uncertainty we are asking each of you to be even more vigilant than usual and ensure that you and your family don't unwittingly walk into one of their events. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not committed to helping you have an enjoyable summer!