The new smartphone

People may try to tell you that this incident was a "mistake" on the part of the perpetrator, but we would like to inform you that our self-aware smart phone technology is continuing to advance at an unbelievable pace.

Dr. Nick Riviera has been working on self-aware phones since the heyday of artificial intelligence in the 70's. It was remarkably hard to make a 1970's phone self-aware, but Nick was able to make a phone decide to play different rings based on its "mood," where mood was a pseudo-random function of time. As phone technology has advanced, Nick was able to make more advances of his own. In the early 1980's he got his first wireless self-aware phone running. It was able to connect to the base station of its choice based on what it perceived to be most interesting, and it learned over time. Cell phones initially provided him a great challenge, but the challenge later became a great opportunity as they became more and more powerful. Now that phones have GPS sensors and real operating systems, adding the self-awareness is much easier. Nick's phones have been distributed along with the regular factory "smart phones" (not-so-smart phones if you ask Nick). According to figures released by the American Standard Institute for New Ideas and New Environments (ASININE) Dr. Nick's smart phones make up 32.9% of the smart phone market. The phone in the article was one of Nick's early models. It sized up the situation, then took a picture of the perpetrator in order to help its owner. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not proud to be a part of the smartphone revolution!