Desperation?

While the attempt on my life in San Antonio may have been well-planned and dangerous, it is clear that the Company and its supporters are getting more and more desperate as we gain in power and influence.

The attack on Juliana's family was clumsy and in bad taste, and today there was a very clumsy attempt on my life that left one of my coworkers with 11 stitches. I'll have to have a talk with our facilities group to find out who let them in, but it appears that sometime last night they put a sharp metal object near my coworker's desk where I usually sit when I talk to him. Their hope, we can only assume, is that after talking with my coworker I would return to my desk without noticing the sharp object and cut my head open on it.

They were frustrated, however, when Nathan Swenson, my brave coworker, took the figurative bullet for me and cut his own head open on the metal object. His brave act left him woozy and necessitated a trip to the hospital, but after an hour or two and eleven stitches he is back with us. It is with great pleasure that we, the Board of Dictators, award Nathan Swenson the Hero of the People award for his service.