The GNU Public Dungeons: A FAQ

Over the last few days our local offices have fielded an unusually large number of questions about something we mentioned in a post a few days ago: the GNU Public Dungeons.  Many expressed concern that they hadn't heard of them before, and a few who style themselves activists apparently believe that they are like the ancient medieval dungeons where people were left to rot without access to the due process of law.  At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not open, which is why we will attempt to answer the most frequently asked questions about the GNU Public Dungeons here.

Q.  Where are the GNU Public Dungeons?
A.  Underground
Q.  Can you be more specific?
A.  We have several locations, please contact your local GPD office for information about the dungeons near your location.
Q.  What are the GNU Public Dungeons used for?
A.  They are primarily rented for wedding receptions and company parties, but there are several locations around the world where we employ the dungeons for more traditional uses.
Q.  How many world citizens are imprisoned in the GNU Public Dungeons?
A.  None.  Those who are imprisoned are enemies of the GPD and were either never given world citizen status or had it revoked by the GPD's Board of Dictators.
Q.  Are any non-humans imprisoned there?
A.  There are a few cockroaches and rats imprisoned in some of the store rooms, but they chose to live there and were warned that the doors would be locked before they decided to stay there.
Q.  What are the conditions like in the GNU Public Dungeons?
A.  Those who work in the GNU Public Dungeons the work is mostly janitorial, which is why we warned our supporters that insensitive brutes often end up there.
Q.  Are you avoiding answering questions regarding the treatment of prisoners in the GNU Public Dungeons?
A.  Of course not, those who reside there are properly cared for and are as happy as they can be, considering that they have abdicated their citizenship.  When our scientists perfect interplanetary travel they will be taken to a new planet where they can create a society that meets their needs.
Q.  Are prisoners allowed visitors?
A.  Yes.  Visiting hours are posted at each GNU Public Dungeon location that is used for detention.
Q.  How do I reserve a dungeon for my next big event?
A.  Contact your local GPD county officers for details.  Rentals are generally free, but if more than one event wants a specific dungeon on a specific date the highest bidder generally wins.  We can almost certainly accommodate you in one of our locations on the date of your choosing!

We hope this FAQ has been helpful and that your concerns have been allayed.  We also hope that you will make use of this great resource for your next big events!