Code of Practice

We have been carefully watching developments in the UK's latest attempt to prevent animal cruelty, and we think that, although it may sound rather silly, it's time that we proposed our own Code of Practice for Supporters of the GNU Public Dictatorship. Don't worry, we wont go on for 26 pages on the entertainment needs of our pet cats, and we won't have an 8-week consultation. We're borrowing the idea of their code of practice, not the substance. This is by no means a final draft, but here's a start:

Code of Practice

for Supporters of the GNU Public Dictatorship

Article I. Marshmallows are not waterproof, nor will they be unless you coat them with lacquer or some other waterproof substance. Unfortunately, this will most likely render the marshmallows unfit for consumption. Consequently, please do not immerse your marshmallows in liquid, unless of course the marshmallows are to be consumed in conjunction with that liquid, as may be the case with hot cocoa.

Article II. When you strike your head with a metal object such as a hammer, it will most likely hurt. It may even cause serious injury. We, the GNU Public Dictatorship will not be held accountable for self-inflicted head wounds caused by such means.

Article III. Sitting on a hat is not a good idea. If the hat is rigid, it will likely hurt you, and if the hat is breakable it will likely break. Please look at your chair and ensure there are no hats on the chair before you sit on it.

Article IV. Sitting on a cat is not a good idea. If the cat is alive, it will likely protest and you will likely be scratched. If the cat is dead, that is just plain gross. Please look at your chair and ensure that there are no cats on the chair before you sit on it.

Article V. Water-soluble paints will not withstand a high-pressure wash, and will generally not withstand even a washing by hand. If you want your car's color to remain vivid, do not paint it with a water-soluble paint unless you are going to apply a sealant.

Article VI. Handing cash to random individuals may improve your karma, but it will not generally improve your current financial situation. Please take a minute to consider what your life will be like without the money you intend to give away before you give it away.

This is obviously not a complete document, but we'll add to it as we think of more and more common sense suggestions that somebody really should write down for those without common sense.