Monday, May 18, 2009

Never give up! (unless maybe you want a burrito)

There's a decision you make when you decide to flee from the authorities instead of letting them catch you and incarcerate you, and that decision is to keep fleeing until one of three things happens: (1) they give up the chase, (2) you get caught, or (3) you die. Most rational criminals follow this pattern (which, incidentally, is making the development of our artificially-intelligent police robots come along much faster), but there will always be a few that choose another way (which is why our artificially-intelligent police robots aren't quite ready for wide-scale deployment). Take Jermaine Askia Cooper, who, after fleeing from the cops for 16 minutes decided that if he was going to jail he wanted a burrito from Taco Bell. Our police robots were slightly confused at his strange behavior, and we hate to admit that had the human cops not been there they would have let Jermaine get his burrito before apprehending him. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not glad that didn't happen, and so we pledge to you that we will continue to improve our police robots before completely eliminating the human force.

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