A despicable new tactic

It seems that the Unholy Brotherhood of the Hole Punch has stooped to a new low in recent weeks, raiding our fast food establishments and causing them to run out of some of the essentials. Our recent post about when to call emergency services related one such story, where our protagonist was denied lemonade because the Unholy Brotherhood had syphoned it all off for their own nefarious purposes. More recently they took all of the McNuggets from a McDonald's location in Fort Pierce, FL, causing this woman untold suffering. I, myself, experienced such an episode in December of last year where the fast food establishment told me their ice cream machine was unavailable.

Due to the efforts of our loyal spy "Viktor" we have been able to link the Parent Corporation to these incidents. Our intelligence shows that they are responsible for nearly all of such incidents that have been reported in the United States over the last three months. Records for the rest of the world are not kept in as much detail, making it impossible for a firm link to the Parent Corporation there. It is our belief, however, that this is an international attack by the Unholy Brotherhood of the Hole Punch on one of our core establishments in society.

We advise all of our supporters to report any such incidents to their local GNU Public Dictatorship offices as soon as possible and to remember that if they purchase hole punches or hole punch paraphernalia they are contributing to such dastardly acts. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not dedicated to keeping fast food fast and free from entanglements with the Parent Corporation!