It's finally all making sense

Most of you have experienced this. You're assembling or installing a new piece of furniture or appliance, and the instructions tell you something so bizarre and unintelligible that you wonder whether it was translated from Shyriiwook in a sweatshop in Vietnam.

I recently found this instruction at the tail end of the assembly of a bookcase:

II. DRILLING TWO HOLES ON THE WALL IT AS BETWEEN TOP PANEL HOLES DISTANCE.

I would try to diagram this sentence, but I'm not sure I was taught how to diagram this. Thanks to "Viktor," however, we now have in our possession the code book to decipher these steganographic messages. It seems that the Parent Corporation has long been using these cryptic instruction manuals to convey secret instructions to their operatives. This particular message, according to the manual we got from "Viktor" it means roughly:

Expect a shipment of brads and hole punches on the third Wednesday of March in Copenhagen.

Which, as all of you who have taken CRYPT 441: Parent Corporation Codes know, means that there has been a change of strategy, and that any operatives reading this message should immediately consult their commanders for new orders.

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not glad it's all starting to make sense!