New information

It seems our operatives have been very busy following up some new leads this last week, and due to their tireless efforts we can now announce to you what the Parent Corporation was planning to do. We assume that they will be smart enough not to try it now that our spies know about it and all of you do, too, but we advise vigilance.

As most of you know, the President of the Parent Corporation has recently been in negotiations with the National Council of Teachers of Crafts in many states to increase the prominence of hole punching in classrooms. It appears that in the last few weeks the NCTC turned him down, and he has resorted to plan B, which consists of trying to get more pictures of hole punches and brads in the books used to teach our children. Our operatives were able to scuttle this effort as well by alerting the publishers to the intent of the Unholy Brotherhood. With these setbacks we believe they resorted to plan C, which was to hand out free hole punches at fast food establishments next week. We believe that we have thwarted their plans, but at the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not cautious and we advise you to watch your children carefully at fast food establishments this week and confiscate any hole punches they may receive.