A conspiracy?

Over the last two months we have been carefully observing the behavior of the Parent Corporation and the mysterious contractor, Darkle. We are not yet at liberty to disclose all that we know about their recent behavior (that would be unwise and would give them an advantage we don't want them to have), but we would like to point out a few of the nefarious things they are responsible, at least in part, for.

There is a scandal in Japan at the moment as the presumed "oldest man" has apparently been dead for 30 years. What's more, the "oldest woman" is what they call "missing." The mainstream media finds these developments puzzling and a bit amusing, but the reality is much darker. It appears that Darkle has been performing research for nearly 30 years on behalf of the Parent Corporation using old Japanese people in order to understand the effects of brads and western hole punches on traditional Asian societies. We don't have reason to believe (yet) that they are killing their test subjects, but there does appear to be a conspiracy to defraud the Japanese public into believing that their oldest citizens are still among them.

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not concerned by this latest development, but you can rest assured that we will do all within our power to rescue the aged citizens of the Empire of the Rising Sun.