More info on the new MLM

Many of our supporters have written in to ask for more information about the new Multi-Level Marketing venture being supported by the Parent Corporation. We have to assume that they are curious about it because they want to know how to help their friends and family avoid it and not that they are interested in signing up. If you are one of these "supporters" waiting to sign up, be forewarned that at the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not vindictive towards traitors, and proceed with caution. Anyway, in response to these requests we have gleaned all the information we can from their website and other marketing materials to present them here, in the format of a Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ). We have reproduced sections of their marketing materials (in black) in addition to posting more correct answers (in red):

Q. What is OPortunity?

A. "An exciting new way to fill your fastening needs without having to resort to trips to the local office products store. We deliver premium quality office products directly to your home and save you the trouble of trying to remember them while you're out shopping for groceries."

A. A troubling new brad/hole punch distribution mechanism designed to get people hooked and, worse yet, consistently paying a subscription fee for the privilege of being hooked

Q. How does OPortunity work?

A. "Each month OPortunity sends you a package with your office supplies for the next month. They don't need refrigeration and are ready to simply open and use. You can choose what office products you would like, and as long as you meet your minimum amount your monthly membership fee will be waived!"

A. The fine print states that the membership fee is $37.84/month and that the minimum amount is based on a complicated formula (which we will not reproduce here) and essentially entails receiving three times the recommended monthly allowance (GPDRMA) of brads. or seventeen times the GPDRMA of hole punches.

Q. Is OPortunity a pyramid scheme?

A. "No. We use direct-marketing tactics to reach you without involving the middle man. This simultaneously provides more value for you and reduces our advertising expenses."

A. No. It uses direct-marketing tactics to reach you without dealing with regulatory bodies or safety inspections. This simultaneously increases their profits and your dependence on them.

We hope that this short selection has been helpful for you. We have omitted the section of the FAQ that would tell you how to contact a distributor, but we think we have covered the rest of the major questions.