Smart Beauty Parlors

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not committed to helping our supporters make sense of the world around them, which is why we occasionally post information about new fields of science and technology. One of these, which has been in the works for many years now but is just barely being recognized as a legitimate science, is smart beauty parlors. We have all heard of smart phones, but a recent Gallup poll conducted suggested that fewer than 5% of people have heard of smart beauty parlors, and less than 1% have ever used one.

Beauty parlors have been around for ages, with the primary goal of making people look more beautiful than they looked before they entered. Unfortunately, the idiosyncrasies of the individual beauticians and their own limited view of the world of fashion sometimes makes patrons look less beautiful than when they entered the parlor. In order to counter this risk, a young woman by the name of Janet Gottsch studied long and hard and eventually created the "smart beauty machine."

Ms. Gottsch, inventor of the Smart Beauty Machine

The smart beauty machine takes into account the weather forecast for the day, the body and face shape of the patron, the trends reported on E!TV, and the spreads of popular magazine covers to decide on the ideal style for hair, nails, and any accessories. In 1944 (when Ms. Gottsch was 17) it was lampooned in The Miracle of Morgan's Creek, and subsequently lost most of its public appeal. It took many years for it to make a comeback, and in recent years it has become quite popular in many Asian countries. We have long supported Ms. Gottsch in her efforts to revitalize the industry, and now that it's much closer we are urging you all to try it out when you see it!