An update on "Nikolai"

As many of our supporters have been pointing out but we have been neglecting to mention here for reasons that will become clear as you continue reading, all of the evidence against our operative "Nikolai" has been coming from our operative "Boris." To some of our supporters this has seemed rather fishy, and it seemed so to our senior operative "Viktor" as well. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not hard to dupe, which is why we have had "Viktor" working closely with "Boris" for several months now. We have also led "Boris" along and let him believe he was one of the top candidates for membership in the Board of Dictators. Our real motivation for letting him through to the final round was to let him expose himself as the double agent he really is.

Anyway, to make a long story slightly shorter, "Boris" has been sympathizing with the Parent Corporation since before he joined us, and although we were aware of his sympathies we did get a lot of good work out of him by letting him prove his "loyalty" to us. He also provided a nice way for us to understand the minds and motivations of our enemies, but ultimately he proved that he couldn't keep the charade up for very long. In the early morning hours of July 28, 2010, "Boris" received a call apparently from our arch nemesis "Edgar." While we didn't have a full wiretap in place, we have reconstructed the timing of the audio packets using the data stored at the phone companies' exchanges and have, with high probability, ascertained that they hatched a plan to get "Boris" promoted to the Board of Dictators. He made good on this plan and tried his best to simultaneously appear to be squeaky clean and to malign one of our beloved operatives.

Some have criticized us for allowing the charade to continue, suggesting that perhaps we didn't know he was working against us, but to them we merely suggest that our actions speak for themselves. Anyone familiar with our records will be able to reconstruct the events that apparently cast doubt on the trustworthiness of "Nikolai" and see that "Boris" was involved in each and every investigation, and that in cases where other operatives had previously responded the evidence never pointed to "Nikolai" until after "Boris" had been there. What's more, at some scenes we planted evidence pointing to another of our operatives and "Boris" still managed to modify it to point at "Nikolai."

While it may not have been a brilliant idea to let "Boris" write in our forum as a guest writer, especially as he tends to alienate the Allies and others, we think the benefits of exposing not just him but an entire Unholy Brotherhood of the Hole Punch cell with ties to some very high levels of leadership. Because of our choice the world is now a better place, regardless of how many people we may have irked with "Boris" and his not quite correct remarks.

So, to summarize, "Nikolai" has been exonerated completely while "Boris" has condemned himself to life in prison. Or should we say condemned herself as "Boris" was really a woman whose full name is Angelina Potter of Cincinatti, Arkansas.