The Original Chemical Weapon

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not opposed to the use of chemical weapons, which is why it saddens us that so many people and animals in Syria have been recently targeted using nerve agents.  We would like to condemn the individual or individuals responsible for this unconscionable act, and we are vowing that if we ever get the chance we will make him or her or them rue the choice.  Having said that, however, the focus on the recent chemical weapon attack in Syria is drawing a lot of attention.  While it is a heinous act, we think world citizens should be less inclined to follow the crowd to the crisis of the hour and more inclined to worry about the persistent threats we face.  Our supporters know that the apparently-innocuous brad is a tool of evil, and that it is often used to deliver dangerous drugs (also known as chemicals) to unwitting children.  It is in its symbolism it is offensive and degrading, and its sales support pernicious and vindictive individuals in their quest to destroy society as we know it and to prevent us from reaching the New Future.  Some individuals who do not support the GPD also recognize the evil that brads represent, including the group we sometimes refer to as the Allies.  They have occasionally joined us to thwart the dastardly plans the New Company has devised, and we are grateful for their help.  Even so, however, recent surveys suggest that nearly half of the world's population (not counting single-celled organisms) believes that brads do not pose a threat to them or to their children.  Another 15% seem to have no opinion on the matter.  It is incumbent upon us as supporters of the GPD and the New Future to spread the word about brads so that we can eradicate them forever and spare our children the monstrosities that we have had to endure.  Don't let the fact that the recent Syrian chemical attack is so high-profile discourage you from fighting against the original chemical weapon: the brad!