"Privacy"

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not concerned with the well-being of all world citizens, which is why we strive so much against the evils found in the world.  We exert a lot of effort trying to crush organized evil in the form of Brad Guys or the New Company, but even if we were to completely vanquish organized evil we would still have to be vigilant as dispersed evil can be just as damaging as organized evil.

You may ask what this "dispersed evil" is, and we would be quick to answer that it is the small things world citizens do daily that do not contribute to a healthy and happy society founded on the principles of equality and love for each other and a hatred of brads and other evil office products.  In order to combat this diffuse threat, the GPD has recently increased its surveillance program, which has drawn criticism from human rights* advocates and from people who like to dabble in dispersed evil.  Those who submitted form 532ERTU012-K have been spared some of the more embarrassing surveillance, but those who didn't keep complaining that we are watching them write memos, scrapbook, and mail letters, and that we are not giving them the privacy they deserve.

The GPD values privacy, but as an open government, we understand and accept that privacy in the New Future is nearly impossible.  In order to guarantee that brads and evil office products are banished forever and that society is optimally organized we need to give up our privacy.  We're not suggesting that world citizens will never have a moment alone, just that they should not expect to be alone in any situation.  If we let people scrapbook on their own, how can we be sure that brads aren't being utilized?  If we don't check up on people's correspondence, how can we be sure that only approved industrial hole punches are being used and that people aren't starting to use hand-held hole punches?  It should be clear to anyone who loves the New Future that we cannot get there without sacrificing our privacy.  At the GPD, however, we know that some of our supporters (primarily humans) would not like to be under surveillance while they are bathing or performing bodily functions, which is why we allowed them to request an exception using the form mentioned above.  With minimal security and inspections you will be granted complete solitude inside the approved facility to do what you need to do.  Due to the unusually high number of complaints from those who haven't yet submitted the form, we are granting them a second chance.  Please submit the form by Friday to your local GPD county office.

*The GPD is amused by the phrase "human rights" as it is by its very nature discriminating against non-human citizens of the world and belittles their rights and needs