Guest Writer: "Boris"

As we promised earlier, several of our finalists in the quest to be named a member of the Board of Dictators will be given the opportunity to write content for this blog. Our first to be considered good enough for this prestigious blog is one of our operatives that joined us last year in the middle of the scandal surrounding the apparent death of our chief operative "Viktor." For security reasons we are using his code name here rather than his real name, and we have declined to list a home town. "Boris" has had an exciting career with us and has been instrumental in stopping the nano-robotic lichen invasion and several other lesser-known campaigns. He was motivated to apply for the Board of Dictators because of his conviction that his success is limited only by his limited opportunities to serve in the fight against brads and hole punches. Without further ado, here is his piece (don't be fooled by its diminutive stature, it has some potential):

For many years scholars have wondered why the Unholy Brotherhood of the Hole Punch abandoned at least seven of its larger warehouses in the late 1970's. Many theories have been put forward, ranging from simple to complex, but there is no agreement among scholars. Recent activity in one of these sites has reignited debate, and all evidence points to the idea that perhaps they left the sites "abandoned" because they had a long-running experiment there. Passers-by have noted men in HAZMAT suits using what looked like metal detectors. You may rest assured that operatives of the GPD are keeping an eye on the developments, but we would like to urge you to exercise common sense near these sites and to report any unusual activity you may observe.