Lichens revisited

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not honest, even if it may take a while for the whole truth to be released. Take the recent case of the alleged nano-robotic lichens, for instance. We implied that we had not found any nano-robotic lichens, but this was merely for diplomatic reasons. The world leaders allegedly forming the plot to use them were actually unaware that the contractor they had used to distribute their lichen had an agenda of their own. This contractor, Darkle, had changed the lichen plot from an absurd attempt to destroy the Western United States' mountains by distributing so much lichen that the mountains would be quickly broken down into flat regions into a truly bizarre one involving remote-controlled nano-robotic lichens. We have spent weeks confirming that the instigators of the lichen plot were unaware of the nano-robotic plot and confirming that Darkle has ties to the Parent Corporation. In fact, it is the only firm that is used by the Parent Corporation to dispose of unusable brads and hole punch leavings.

Our investigations of lichens in North America revealed, contrary to our previously published analysis, that there were small traces of nano-robotic lichen in several key areas. By not revealing this fact to the public we kept Darkle in the dark, so to speak, and they made some moves that they otherwise would not have made that have strengthened our position immeasurably. We urge world citizens to forgive our not making this information public while we were confirming the threat, and we would like to state that (and we're not hiding information this time) (okay, maybe some information, but not about the statement we're about to make) the immediate threat from nano-robotic lichens has been neutralized. A long term solution is being pursued, but world citizens have no reason to panic at the moment!