A "random" incident

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not thorough, which is why we work so many extra hours without compensation to provide you, our faithful supporters, with the safest world we can. One of the benefits of such tireless work is that we can often see trends forming before the rest of society. For example, this incident in which a man punched a Wal*Mart greeter was described by the local Chief of Police as apparently "random."

We remembered reading, however, about an upgrade to the "look" at the North Versailles Wal*Mart, and so we kept investigating. We dug through public records on the upgrade, but to no avail. It wasn't until we found Kurt Brower, a local contractor who was employed in the upgrade, that we were able to give some substance to the niggling idea that perhaps something in this scenario was more than merely "random".

Kurt remembers having had contact with both the greeter and the perpetrator just prior to the upgrade, and, as it turns out, the three had had long discussions about how the upgrade was an affront to our dignity as it makes the assumption that our physical surroundings will affect our perception of the quality of the merchandise itself. Mr. Brower agreed that the upgrade was demeaning and subsequently canceled his contract. Thomas Jenkins (the greeter) had apparently agreed, and Mr. Washington (the perpetrator) had assumed that would mean that Mr. Jenkins would also quit his greeter job as a protest. We presume from Kurt's recounting of events that when Mr. Washington found out last week that this was not the case he got very angry and decided to do something about it.

Some of you may be asking why we would investigate such a trivial occurrence in such detail, especially since the Parent Corporation was not apparently involved, but we simply ask the question of how you know whether the Parent Corporation is involved before you investigate.