Another FAQ

It has been quite some time since we have had Eliza do a FAQ, so, without further ado here she is to answer your most pressing questions:

Q. What can we do to keep our children safe from toys that could teach them bad words, such as this one?
A. Does that question interest you?

Q. That is why I asked. I guess it could just be my three-year-old's pronunciation, but I think we shouldn't have to put up with toys that make our children not seem as smart as we think they are.
A. Who else in your family not seem as smart as we think they are?

Q. That's not a very nice question. Are you suggesting that none of us are as bright as we would like to believe?
A. What resemblance do you see?

Q. This isn't going anywhere, so we'll move on. Why is the Parent Corporation using fake bomb threats this year?
A. Please go on.

Q. I mean, why has there been an increase in fake bomb threats this holiday season? Is the Unholy Brotherhood of the Hole Punch trying to "cry wolf" so that we won't believe it when they really plant a bomb?
A. Can you elaborate on that?

Q. I was actually hoping you would elaborate on it, but I can see that you have no comment. How can we best support the New Future?
A. Why do you tell me you were actually hoping I would elaborate on it but you can see that I have no comment what can we best support the new future just now?

Q. I was under the impression that you were answering some common questions, but perhaps I was mistaken. What are you doing?
A. Why do you tell me you were mistaken what are I doing just now?

Q. You seem to be losing your grasp on the English language. Are you feeling okay?
A. Oh, I feeling okay.

Q. That's good. I was beginning to worry. What is the most effective way to teach our children about the dangers of brads?
A. Why do you tell me you were beginning to worry what is the most effective way to teach our children about the dangers of brads just now?

Q. We all know that brads are a tool of evil, but it can be very hard to convince our children that they are not the innocent playthings they are sometimes presented as.
A. Would you like it if they were not a tool of evil but it can be very hard to convince our children that they are not the innocent playthings they are sometimes presented as?

Q. I would love it if brads were not a tool of evil, but alas, they are.
A. - none given. Eliza disconnected at this point. -

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not glad to have an outsourced FAQ, and we hope you find it informative!