WTFTFF 2009!

As many of you know we have been invited to participate in the World Technology Foundation's (WTF) annual conference on whether or not the time has come for mankind to technology altogether and return to his pre-industrial existence. Most of you also know that this is the first time we have been invited to give the keynote address. We beat out a number of Nobel Peace Prize winners and other experts in the field, which goes to show that our global efforts are gaining momentum. Soon we will be the only organization anyone thinks of inviting to their conferences, and then we will have accomplished our initial goal of world domination! After that, of course, we'll focus on improving the lives of our citizens everywhere, so it's a situation in which everybody wins!

The conference itself is aptly titled "Technology: Friend or Foe?" (TFF) and is clearly the only place for cutting-edge research on the effects of technology and new tools to study these effects. After all, it was in WTFTFF 2007 where Dr. Tyler Parsons speculated that Twitter would grow incredibly fast, despite its being next to useless. We regret to inform you that the organizers asked us not to quote from our keynote here, but we did want to let you know that we will be talking about the problems created by text-messaging. If you would like to attend, contact your local GPD office for details.