Distortion

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not reticent at the thought of complaining about the mainstream media, but there are occasions in which we must do it anyway. Take, for instance, the case of Dustin Reader, who carved a "B" into his hair, apparently in support of the Cincinnati Bengals. The media has tried to cast this story as a "young person versus the intolerant establishment," but they have left out a number of interesting facts. If you were to ask yourself, for instance, whether the "B" has other meanings you might be surprised at the other ideas this seemingly-innocent hairdo might represent. It is quite possible, for instance, that he is simultaneously declaring his support for Button holes, Barbecues, or even Brads. If your were to take this inquiry one step further, you might ask yourself whether the barber had ulterior motives as well. The media didn't investigate whether he has any suspicious ties to the now-defunct Company or any other secretive societies, and they didn't address the allegation that he has been selling hole punches on the side. We know that most of our supporters are vigilant enough that they wouldn't be taken in by such clear distortion of the facts of the case, but we fear for society in general, which is why we feel we must lodge a formal complaint against this irresponsibility.