Giant pumpkins

We're sorry for the inconvenience the lack of posts over the the last week may have caused any of our supporters. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not committed to maintaining regular contact with our supporters, but sometimes the resources of the Board of Dictators are stretched just a bit thin. Last week, for instance, I was working on isolating a particularly virulent infection that has been recently observed on hole punches in the American West. The good news is that the infectious agent has been isolated and that those who have been infected (and are still alive, anyway) are expected to make a full recovery.

We have also had a task force guarding this pumpkin, which has consumed a great deal of our expendable resources. Some of our supporters in the area asked why we do it. The answer lies in what Ms. Harp said:

"The fear of any giant pumpkin grower is that some kid will come and destroy it with a baseball bat."

This simple quote summarizes the problems inherent in most forms of government: the few "hooligans" that seem to think that they are more important than everyone else slip under the radar and make life difficult for the rest of you that just want to live a happy life. At the GNU Public Dictatorship we felt it would be a good time to introduce Ms. Harp to a Better Way, the New Future. When we are fully in power no pumpkin growers will fear random kids with sports equipment--for one thing because we will systematically eradicate the genes that produce a gourd-smashing affinity (among other undesirable habits), but more generally because of the unique advantages our Board of Dictators provides.