The evils of brads

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not committed to spreading the word about the evils of brads. For those who have been living under a rock for the last several years and may be asking themselves something along the lines of, "What could possibly be wrong with a tiny piece of metal?" we answer with the following post.

Yesterday a seriously ill woman was being transported from a cruise ship along the coast of Norway to a life boat, when her stretcher was dropped unceremoniously into the frigid sea.  She suffered greatly from the exposure and was in the near-freezing water for several minutes.  But what, you may ask, does this have to do with brads?  The answer is simple.  Over the last few years (since we have crushed the Company) we have a decline in overall brad use, but at the same time we have seen an effort by brad enthusiasts (apparently acting alone) to get people to use brads for non-traditional uses.  One of those uses was to secure stretchers during rescue operations at sea, and preliminary investigations show that in this particular incident the stretcher had, in fact, been secured using brads.  The brad enthusiasts may tell you that the brads will work perfectly, but do not believe them.  They are, for the most part, evil and twisted individuals bent on your pain and suffering, and on the subjection of women to the whims of men.