Monday, April 18, 2011

A partial explanation

Since we discovered that the birds, not the bird watchers, seem to be responsible for the computers that have been giving us trouble we have been tirelessly investigating them and their computers.  All of our effort recently led us to an important discovery and a partial explanation of the birds' behavior.

Apparently this particular flock of birds (Scarlet Ibis, for the curious) has been genetically modified.  The records we found are incomplete (we assume they were destroyed) and we have to interpolate many things, but we are 97.3589% confident that our conclusions are substantially correct.  It appears that the very birdwatchers that were apparently customers of the birds' network expertise were part of a foundation that raises money for unconventional experiments such as those run on this flock of birds, and were thus responsible, at least in part, for the genetic manipulations.  We have traced many of the funds and can categorically state that the vast majority of them came from puppet companies set up by the Parent Corporation, although their motives are as yet unclear.  The birds' keepers unwillingly informed us that the modifications were to increase their intelligence and computer skills.  It appears that, once genetically modified, the birds were able to use the computers to their advantage, but it is not clear yet whether the birds have the intelligence to have programmed the computer system that took over the GPD.  We doubt they do, but we have yet to prove that they do not, so we'll leave it at that for now.  We have our best operatives on this, so we hope to know more soon!

No comments: