Are brads becoming more popular?

Recently we posted about a disturbing incident where brads were used to secure a stretcher and, obviously, failed to do so in a very dangerous fashion.  Today we are posting about another dangerous incident related to the use of brads.

It began much as any other day, a family were playing in a hotel room in Orlando, Florida.  As the day progressed, however, the four-year-old child quickly became bored with what the parents were doing and chose to play on the balcony.  Unfortunately this balcony was on the fourth floor, but fortunately when the toddler fell someone was there to prevent a scary fall from being a prelude to a funeral.

"So," you may ask, "what were the parents doing?"  We have been studying the evidence for several days now and have determined that they were examining and polishing their brad collection.  We haven't been able to ascertain (as we have been denied access to the crime scene by local authorities) whether they were using brads to transport drugs, but we do know that they were so obsessed with their brads that they let their child wander into a life-threatening situation.

It seems that brads are once again becoming more popular, and this is probably our fault to some extent.  We have been so successful in managing the threat that world citizens who are not so well informed as you are are beginning to not fear them anymore.  We have heard them say things like, "One brad won't hurt," or "Since the Company is gone there's no real threat anymore."  Apparently we have failed in instilling in them a knowledge of the intrinsic evil that is the brad.  At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not sorry for our mistake and will continue to work tirelessly to correct it!