"Natasha"

After some careful forensic analysis of the dry erase markers sent to us last week, we have concluded that "Natasha" did indeed handle them at some point, but we have not been able to conclude whether she sent them to us, or whether they were intended as a restitution for her treacherous acts.  At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not unsatisfied by ambiguity, so we will continue to exert our efforts to discover who is behind this and the secret churro messages, and to determine whether they are related or not.

Many of you, our loyal supporters, have written to us requesting that we explain a little about "Natasha" and her service to the GPD and her relationship with "Edgar".  While we will endeavor to give a portrait of her, however, we are not at liberty to discuss all of the details of her work for the Board of Dictators and there are some gaps in our understanding of what has occurred since she married "Edgar".

"Natasha" was one of our best operatives.  She was born in difficult circumstances in the Middle East, but because of some services that were rendered by her parents she was brought to the United States of America as a young girl.  She was trained at the best operative schools available, and graduated near the top of her class.  We would love to tell you where in the Middle East, where in the United States, or which schools, but to tell you would compromise some of our other best operatives, so we won't do so now.

At some point while "Natasha" was working undercover at the Parent Corporation/UBHP she became addicted to evil office products and became romantically involved with the then-CEO "Edgar".   We found "Edgar" passed out and sequestered  him in a reality simulator, and used "Natasha" to figure out his true motives.  "Natasha" apparently valued "Edgar" more than her work with us, and, to make a long story short, she helped him escape and married him, and then joined in his attempts to achieve what he termed Rule by "Edgar".  She did occasionally join us in missions against evil office products, but she was not nearly so valuable as she had been before.

"Natasha" opposed all of "Edgar's" efforts to join with us when he applied for membership in the Board of Dictators, which disappointed us greatly.  At this point we decided that "Natasha" was no longer a good World Citizen, and we put her on our list of people to imprison should we get a chance.  Not much later she returned the dry erase markers she had taken when she left and apparently tried to normalize relations, but then her husband took over as CEO of the New Company, and relations have been strained again.

From what we know, "Natasha" is still a very bright and capable operative and would be an asset to any cause she embraces, but her loyalty is in serious doubt.  She may be reaching out to us again now, but the offers are so vague and the message so unclear that we will simply have to wait and see.