The New Company: an unworthy adversary

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not thrilled to be able to announce that we have finally completed our research on the New Company and its capabilities and found that it is no more a threat to the citizens of the world than misguided "scrapbooking enthusiasts" who unwittingly spread the evil of brads to small groups of children.  Since the incidents that resulted in the defection of "Edgar" and the final split between the Parent Corporation and the New Company we have seen so very little in the way of carefully planned or skillfully executed missions from their operatives that we have concluded that they have imploded upon themselves and are no longer a worthy adversary.  This is great news for our supporters as it means we have vanquished yet another organization bent on destroying the world we hold dear!  Parties will be held on Friday, January 17, 2014 at 16:03 UTC at all GPD county offices worldwide, so please come out and celebrate our victory!