At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not anxious for everything to return to normal, which is why it irks us so when incidents such as this petty lawsuit continue to complicate relations between our human and non-human supporters.
Ever since Kofi Annan brokered the human/non-human ceasefire we have had hopes that this volatile relationship would right itself, but neither side has been willing to implement the peace plan. Both sides are apparently employing gangs of thugs to do their dirty work, and animal attacks on humans have been steadily rising over the last few weeks. Violence against animals is harder to quantify as various forms of torture and murder of many animal species are routinely permitted in the otherwise civilized world. Differentiating between "sport" and "retaliation" is a challenge that has proven too difficult for now.
What is worse, our observers have been coming under attack and we believe it may not be safe to keep them where they are. The situation is rapidly developing into a civil war, or, perhaps worse, a schism.
For years our enemies have dreamed of dividing us, but we have held steady. Our triumphs over the last few years are a testament to the dedication of our supporters, and we could not have made it this far without the spirit of unity that usually pervades our efforts. Let us not give in to our enemies' plans to divide us, but let us go forward united against evil. United we stand, divided we fall, etc., etc.
Anyway, if the situation continues to worsen we fear we may have to discipline our less-cooperative supporters. We don't want it to get so out of hand that we have to take arms against our own supporters, but if it comes to that be assured that we will win.
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Now, this may sound like eccentric babbling, but perhaps the enemies attempting to divide the GNU Public Dictatorship into human and non-human groups are closer than you may think? For example, consider your ranks of non-human supporters, specifically, various cephalopods. Consider the cuttlefish supporters you may or may not have. Cuttlefish are widely known for adeption at intelligence and trickery, and are skilled at avoiding the eyes of the press and the public. Perhaps these ranks are purposefully spreading doubt through both your organization and that of the Parent Corporation, that you may blame each other, in the hope that they will quickly rise to world domination in the event of a double-knock out? Perhaps they are the ones splitting your enemies as well into two factions? This is probably not the case, but as I have always said in times of inexplicable trouble, if you choose to keep a Cuttlefish, keep it close. Cuttlefish are clever.
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