Our operatives have been busily working to answer our questions about "Gertrude" and, without further ado, are their conclusions:
Q. Could "Gertrude" really be a greban?
A. We have studied the greban situation for several months now, and our scientists are convinced that the likelihood of the Parent Corporation (or the New Company) having successfully created a human-grebe hybrid is approximately 1 in 3,924,111, with a margin of error of approximately 7. Given these long odds, we do not believe that "Gertrude" is a greban.
Postscript to A. While these odds are long, they are based on the best estimates we have of Parent Corporation/New Company technology. If they have successfully concealed significant resources, then it is a completely different situation. Our statisticians estimate the likelihood of them having concealed a significant lab from us at approximately 1 in 212. Assuming that they have concealed a lab from us, the likelihood that they have created a viable greban is approximately 1 in 403. The margin of error on both of these calculations was estimated at approximately 13. This creates overall odds of about 1 in 85,436. Given these small odds, we still believe that "Gertrude" is not a greban.
Q. Could "Gertrude" be possessed by a male grebe, thus making her not exactly female?
A. Yes. Assuming "Gertrude" is a greban, the odds are approximately 1 in 2 that she is inhabited by a male grebe. This could explain why the New Company has accepted her as their leader despite their misogyny.
Q. Could "Gertrude" be a robot?
A. Our scientists have studied this for some time, and have concluded that the New Company does not have the technology to create a robot as sophisticated as "Gertrude", besides the fact that she has clearly not followed the first law of robotics.
Q. Could "Gertrude" be a proxy?
A. Our operatives have been unable to confirm whether "Gertrude" is a proxy, but based on their observations our statisticians have estimated the likelihood of "Gertrude" being simply a pretty face and taking orders from some unseen entity at approximately 1 in 14. Given the long odds on other possibilities, this seems like a likely alternative, but there is no direct evidence to support it yet. It may simply be that "Gertrude" has overcome the endemic misogyny in the New Company.
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2 comments:
It is simply fantastic to know that the chances of Gertrude being a Greban are slim; the implications of a human-avian hybrid, and in the hands of dangerous organizations such as these, are terrifying. The conclusions that have been reached are relieving. But perhaps "Gertrude" is a disguise, a flesh suit if you will, or maybe even, as you suggested lastly, actually in charge, and it is a ploy designed to keep the GNU Public Dictatorship scrambling for answers, while the New Company gains the upper hand?
We have investigated the possibility of a flesh suit, but none of our operatives have been able to get close enough to her to decide whether it is actual flesh or simply a layer of flesh grown over something less attractive, a-la V. As for your last observation, we are beginning to wonder the same thing ourselves, especially, as you note, we find many of our resources that are usually elsewhere consumed by the mysterious "Gertrude". We'll be sure to not get caught with our pants down.
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