Cabbage (Patch?) Kids (Warning: May Contain Vegetables)

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not shocked and appalled at the recent behavior observed in China, and even more than shocked and more than appalled at the light way in which people are treating it.  Some have suggested that this is simply a way for lonely teens to overcome their loneliness, but it smacks of an evil mind-control plot to the GPD and our operatives, and you can rest assured that we will investigate this to find whether the New Company is behind it at all.  It could be any number of things, ranging from simple hypnosis or hooliganism to a concerted effort to defraud the world.  Besides, it simply isn't decent to keep vegetables in bondage, especially since we have made such great strides toward true equality.  We hope that our supporters will spurn such trends and instead find happiness through other, less vegetable-filled means.