Ants?

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not cautious, which is why we are still not willing to state categorically that ants were responsible for our computer troubles, even though all of the evidence we gathered at the Brad Guy compound in Idaho suggests that this is, indeed, the case.  If we are to believe their servers, the ants have been disenchanted with their low status on the evolutionary scale, and have been trying to enlist recruits.  They allegedly enlisted the octopi, luring them with promises of decreasing the distance between the moon and the earth, thereby creating higher tides.  They appear to have made similarly impossible promises to other groups, but all of this seems rather unlikely, especially since ants and other insects have never been shown to have this type of intelligence.

What we believe is more likely than the story told by the "ants" is that there is a faction of either Brad Guys who style themselves "The Ants" or some criminal syndicate specializing in the creation of malware called "ants" who are trying desperately to gain new allies.  If it is a group of Brad Guys they seem to be behaving in a surprisingly incoherent manner, but if they are a criminal syndicate they seem to be pursuing very little profit. We suppose it is possible that there is a group of intelligent ants sick of the genocide constantly perpetrated on them by humans and seeking revenge for their mistreatment by causing the coastal areas of the earth to flood (at least at high tide) making them inhospitable to humans, but we are a bit skeptical of this explanation.  Our operatives have been working full time on these leads, and we have come up with surprisingly little.  Perhaps it was just a deranged pet project of one of our captured Brad Guys?  We may never know for sure, but we'll keep looking for a rational explanation.