"Mentor"

At the GNU Public Dictatorship we are nothing if not dedicated to your safety, which is why we are writing this post for your enlightenment.  As you may have already guessed based on the very succinct title of this post, it is about "Mentor", the leader of the Society, which has recently purchased the brads, hole punches, and evil stickers division from the New Company.  We were waiting for the deal to be complete before posting, but it has come to our attention that "Mentor" knew what he was getting into when he bought the evil office products.  Both "Edgar" and "Natasha" warned him of the nefarious uses and symbolism in the products, and he told them that he knew and that he was trying to expand his empire in "any way possible."

We are disappointed that "Edgar" and "Natasha" chose to sell their interest in evil office products rather than to destroy the company, but we understand that, while they both have battled addiction to these instruments of destruction that they don't feel the same moral imperative to protect others from the same fate that we, the GPD's Board of Dictators, feel.

What, you may ask, is going to be our relationship with the New Company moving forward?  How very astute of you to ask.  The truth of the matter is that we don't know how things are going to work out, but that we are still in negotiations with "Edgar" and "Natasha" to get them to stop opposing us.  It is challenging, however, as we expect them to give into our demands while we are unwilling to give into their demands.  It is, unfortunately, a common way for negotiations to go these days.  At the GPD we are nothing if not hopeful that they will come around to seeing things our way in the near future and that we will be able to include them in the New Future.  In the meantime, though, we have policies in place that allow them to operate without interference as long as they don't interfere with us.

If you have made it this far you may be asking yourself why this post was titled "Mentor" when it has had very little to do with him up to this point.  The answer to that question is that we titled the post before we wrote it, and due to a provision in our editor's policy manual we are unable to change the title of the post after we have submitted it for review.  Next time we just won't submit it for review at all!